Blog Series: What is Complementarianism? Part 1: A Beautiful Design

At Grace Church, we believe that God made both men and women in His image – equal in value, dignity, and worth, yet distinct in how we live out our callings. And those differences aren’t accidental or insignificant; they are purposeful. This understanding is often described as the complementarian view of life and leadership, where men and women complement each other in the different roles God has called them to in the home and in the church.

Complementarianism is part of our church’s theological framework and is reflected in our bylaws. It states that men and women are both called to serve in God’s church as equals in value and purpose, but each has different roles. Complementarianism holds that the primary spiritual leadership in the church is reserved for men. We know this can be a difficult concept to grasp. For some, it raises real questions and concerns. So, over the next three posts, we want to take some time to explain what we believe, why we believe it, and how it plays out practically in the life of Grace Church.

The challenge of past abuses.

Let’s be honest, "complementarianism" is not exactly a word that sparks warm feelings in our postmodern culture. For some, it might sound outdated, restrictive, or even unfair. It can feel like a loaded word, weighed down by past abuses or misrepresentations of what it’s supposed to be. And sadly, in some church contexts, it has been used in ways that elevate one gender while diminishing the other. If that’s your story, I want you to know: I hear you. That is not the heart of biblical complementarianism. Not even close.

One word that has often been misused to suppress women is ‘submission’ - twisted into something it was never meant to be, where women were expected to bend over backwards to please their husbands. Sadly, that is not the picture the Bible gives us (more on that in Part 2), and also not the intent of the word itself. Kathy Keller puts it well when referring to the Bible passages that talk about submission between men and women: “Submission is not about being less valuable; it’s about following the pattern of Jesus, who submitted to the Father in love.” That truth shapes everything we believe about gender roles. Just as Jesus’ submission didn’t make Him less than the Father, the unique roles God gives to men and women don’t determine value; they reveal design. God set the example, even in submission, and doesn't ask us to do something He wasn't willing to do Himself.

The beauty of Godly design.

At Grace Church, when we say we hold to a complementarian view of men and women, we’re not talking about power or superiority. We’re talking about God’s good design; His intentional, wise, and loving creation of men and women to reflect His image together. There is a beautiful theological mystery in how, together, we reflect a

more complete image of our Creator.

You might have heard me say it like this: it’s like a right hand and a left hand. Both are vital to our functioning. Both work together and are equally important. But they’re not identical. They complement each other, each bringing strength where the other is weak. That’s the kind of beauty we see in God’s design for men and women.

Rev. Glenn Rider from the AGC puts it this way: “It’s not a matter of superiority vs. inferiority. It’s simply a matter of assigned role and accountability, a matter of understanding God’s design and program.”

Our Heart in the Matter

Our church bylaws say it like this:

“We affirm the value of both men and women as equally created in the image of God. We believe that God has gifted both men and women to serve in the local church and we value their contribution to ministry and the life of the church.”

That’s important. As a Church, we value the voices, gifts, insights, and leadership of both men and women. Complementarianism isn’t about limitation; it’s about flourishing within God’s design. We believe God has a purpose for our differences. And when men and women live out those roles in humility, unity, and love, the result isn’t oppression; it’s strengthened community. It’s mutual support. It’s a more complete picture of the image of God.

So no, complementarianism isn’t a dusty doctrine from another time. It’s a vision of partnership. It’s about learning to trust that God’s way is still the best way, even when culture tells us otherwise. And it’s a call for all of us, men and women, to use our gifts fully and faithfully in the places God has called us.

In the next part of this series, we’ll unpack what this actually looks like at Grace Church. What roles do men and women play? What does leadership look like in our church? And how do we make sure everyone thrives?

For now, let me just say this: we believe God’s design is good. And when lived out with grace and truth, it’s beautiful.